alienhospital/fic/dp/old/pure.html
2025-12-23 05:56:17 -05:00

765 lines
No EOL
18 KiB
HTML
Raw Permalink Blame History

This file contains ambiguous Unicode characters

This file contains Unicode characters that might be confused with other characters. If you think that this is intentional, you can safely ignore this warning. Use the Escape button to reveal them.

<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en">
<head>
<!-- Change your site title: (It is shown in the tab) -->
<title>AL13NH0SP1T4L</title>
<!-- Change your site description: (It is shown in Google results) -->
<meta content="My personal website!" name="description" />
<!-- Setting character encoding and viewport size. Do not remove. -->
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
<!-- FavIcon (small image in tab), change to any image you want: -->
<link href="favicon.ico" rel="icon" type="image/x-icon" />
<!-- CSS: -->
<!-- You will have to change this to "../style.css" if this HTML file is in a subfolder, to "../../style.css" if this HTML file is in 2 subfolders, etc. -->
<link href="./style.css" rel="stylesheet" />
<script>
// Template generated with petrapixel's layout generator.
// (Please do not remove this credit.)
console.log("%c Template generated with petrapixel's layout generator.", "font-size: 14pt;");
console.log("%c https://petrapixel.neocities.org/coding/layout-generator", "font-size: 14pt;");
</script>
</head>
<body>
<!-- The next line is a skip-to-content link for keyboard users. Do not remove it! -->
<a href="#content" id="skip-to-content-link">Skip to content</a>
<div class="layout">
<!-- =============================================== -->
<!-- HEADER -->
<!-- =============================================== -->
<header>
<div class="header-image">
<img src="https://i.ibb.co/d4wzWNJw/tumblr-9521a9fc973bc72adeebdf473bee6653-94ca1a4f-540.png" alt="" />
</div>
<div class="header-content">
<div class="header-title"></div>
<!-- NAVIGATION -->
<nav>
<ul>
<li><a href="/homepage">Home</a></li>
<li><a href="/about">About Me</a></li>
<li><a href="/shrines">Shrines</a></li>
<li><a href="/resources">Resources</a></li>
<li>
<strong>More</strong>
<ul>
<li><a href="/paint">Games - Paint</a></li>
<li><a href="/kidpix">Games - Kidpix</a></li>
<li><a href="/secrets">Well of Secrets</a></li>
<li><a href="/fanworks">Archive of My Fanworks</a></li>
<li><a href="/links">Even More Links!</a></li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</nav>
</div>
</header>
<main id="content"> <!-- Do NOT remove the ID here -->
<!-- =============================================== -->
<!-- MAIN CONTENT -->
<!-- =============================================== -->
<section>
<h1>
<a href="/fic/directory">Back</a>
</h1>
<h2>and you'll never be pure again
</h2>
|| At first they try beating it out of him. Larry trainor religious trauma fic. Pedophilic & incestuous abuse TW.
<hr>
<em>
<span>Larrys body is much smaller here. This is because he is only eight, and already he feels smaller than he actually is -- smaller in the eyes of God, smaller in the golden light core of existence, smaller than what composes life -- and already he knows that there is something wrong with him, he is already aware that God does not approve of what he is. He does not know what he is, yet, but he knows that it is sinful and therefore he should repent. He knows this better than he knows his multiplication tables or how to spell the word gravity. He knows this better than he knows himself — Lawrence Trainor is sin embodied, the opposite of holiness injected into a body.</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>And — bodies. At first they try beating it out of him, this impurity, his head crowned with abnormal colors, his shoulders and ribs searing like fire, entire body the hue of a vast and storming ocean. He chews it up in his mind; he cannot decide if no one notices the marks at school, or if they simply dont care. Either way he deserves it. Either way this is his heavenly punishment for being This Way, this tainted, this diseased. He still does not understand why. </span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>Benjamin Quincys parents love him. William Olsons parents love him. Elizabeth Millers parents love her. Everyone in his life has a family that loves them; why are his parents different? What is the motivation behind his suffering? What did Larry do to evoke this kind of wrath? </span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>If he was a good person —- if he was pure, if he was deserving — his family would love him. Obviously there is something inside of him, some defect, that they can sense, a flaw that everyone besides Larry can so clearly comprehend. It aches to think about. He aches to the bone, to whatever lies within — the ache bleeds into his soul. His soul is false. Everything about Larry Trainor is false, and he does not have a soul. It is very difficult to come to terms with this, when you are eight.</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>The violence stops for a week when he is twelve. </span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>He is foolish — he almost believes that he has recovered. Larry allows himself to believe that he has finally atoned, that he is good now. Larry allows himself to feel optimism. He has healed, he is virtuous, maybe now he will deserve to have safety. His parents still dont talk to him, but they dont hit him. Thats better. Thats better. Thats better. Isnt it?</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>He allows himself this fresh interpretation until his mother takes his hand and smiles at him, so sad, so sick. She is showing him kindness, she is showing love, he is finally, finally—</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>“Come with me, Lawrence,” she says. “Dont be scared. Im going to help you.”</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>And she leads him away. Cuts him open, an incision from the stomach—</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>Larry was never whole. He is destined to be broken—</span>
</em>
</p><p><br />
<br />
</p><p>
<span>A crash in his bedroom. An orchid has somehow knocked itself onto the floor, the pot shattering into fragments, in the same way that Larrys soul or lack thereof had shattered into fragments; Larry as the orchid, Larry as something so innocent becoming so easily ruined.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>But he is awake now. He is thankful for that. He is thankful, but the memories have resurfaced, the memories — he can </span>
<em>
<span>feel </span>
</em>
<span>this against his skin, begins clawing at his skin, the fire killed most of his nerves but he can still feel the ghost of invading memories like he is uncharred—-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>he will never be whole he will never be whole he will never be whole he will never escape this he will never escape this he will never escape this he will never be clean he will always be tainted he will never be clean he can claw and scrub at his skin endlessly and he will </span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>never</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>recover—-</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>A glow in his chest. He remembers that he isnt alone anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>“Im sorry,” he whispers, his face now damp, “Im so sorry, I cant stop —- I know Im safe now but I can still — I cant — Im sorry I put you through that — I —”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>He doesnt have to say it out loud. The Spirit reads his deepest desire — his needs — his </span>
<em>
<span>everything, </span>
</em>
<span>and exits his body. He doesnt know how long he can retain consciousness without its presence, so the Spirit works quickly, and presses itself into bed next to him. Holds him close. Cradles him. Like: </span>
<em>
<span>youre safe now. Ive got you.</span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>Larry, normally, would be angry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>It buries its head his shoulder, burrows in, but he welcomes it, he invites its touch. It is the only being he can touch, and its touch feels warm. Its touch is gentle, without violence or pain like he had previously imagined; only a soft tingle against him, and he can feel it </span>
<em>
<span>wholly. </span>
</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
<em>
<span>Thank you, </span>
</em>
<span>he whispers, and focuses only on a better kind of touch, the crackling a perfect distraction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
<span>He is thankful.</span>
</p><p><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</p>
</section>
</main>
<!-- Closing .layout: -->
</div>
<!-- Add any additional Javascript code (<script></script>) here. -->
</body>
<style>
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* VARIABLES */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* Variables are used like this: var(--text-color) */
:root {
/* Background Colors: */
--background-color: #ffffff;
--content-background-color: #ffffff;
--sidebar-background-color: #ffffff;
/* Text Colors: */
--text-color: #000000;
--sidebar-text-color: #2500dd;
--link-color: #000d63;
--link-color-hover: #5e00ec;
/* Text: */
--font: 'ヒラギノ角ゴ Pro W3', 'Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro', Osaka, , Meiryo, ' Pゴシック', 'MS PGothic', ' ゴシック' , 'MS Gothic', 'Noto Sans CJK JP', TakaoPGothic, sans-serif;
--heading-font: 'ヒラギノ角ゴ Pro W3', 'Hiragino Kaku Gothic Pro', Osaka, , Meiryo, ' Pゴシック', 'MS PGothic', ' ゴシック' , 'MS Gothic', 'Noto Sans CJK JP', TakaoPGothic, sans-serif;
--font-size: 18px;
/* Other Settings: */
--margin: 25px;
--padding: 24px;
--border: 10px inset #001457;
--round-borders: 0px;
--sidebar-width: 300px;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* BASICS */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
* {
box-sizing: border-box;
}
body {
display: flex;
align-items: center;
justify-content: center;
min-height: 100vh;
font-size: var(--font-size);
margin: 0;
padding: var(--margin);
color: var(--text-color);
font-family: Times;
line-height: 1.2;
font-weight: 500;
background: var(--background-color);
background-image: url("https://i.ibb.co/214VBwsN/pkg50004.jpg");
}
::selection {
/* (Text highlighted by the user) */
background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.2);
}
mark {
/* Text highlighted by using the <mark> element */
text-shadow: 1px 1px 4px var(--link-color);
background-color: inherit;
color: var(--text-color);
}
/* Links: */
a {
text-decoration: underline;
}
a,
a:visited {
color: var(--link-color);
}
a:hover,
a:focus {
color: var(--link-color-hover);
text-decoration: none;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* LAYOUT */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
.layout {
width: 1200px;
display: grid;
grid-gap: var(--margin);
grid-template: "header" auto "main" auto "footer" auto / auto;
/* Confused by the grid? Check out my tutorial: https://petrapixel.neocities.org/coding/positioning-tutorial#grid */
}
main {
grid-area: main;
overflow-y: auto;
padding: var(--padding);
background: var(--content-background-color);
border: var(--border);
border-radius: var(--round-borders);
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* HEADER */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
header {
grid-area: header;
font-size: 1.2em;
border: var(--border);
border-radius: var(--round-borders);
background: var(--content-background-color);
}
.header-content {
padding: var(--padding);
}
.header-title {
font-family: var(--heading-font);
font-size: 1.5em;
font-weight: bold;
}
.header-image img {
width: 100%;
height: auto;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* SIDEBARS */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
aside {
grid-area: aside;
border: var(--border);
border-radius: var(--round-borders);
overflow: hidden;
background: var(--sidebar-background-color);
padding: var(--padding);
color: var(--sidebar-text-color);
}
.left-sidebar {
grid-area: leftSidebar;
}
.right-sidebar {
grid-area: rightSidebar;
}
.sidebar-title {
font-weight: bold;
font-size: 1.2em;
font-family: var(--heading-font);
}
.sidebar-section:not(:last-child) {
margin-bottom: 3em;
}
.sidebar-section ul,
.sidebar-section ol {
padding-left: 1.5em;
}
.sidebar-section > *:not(p):not(ul):not(ol):not(blockquote) {
margin-top: 10px;
}
/* Sidebar Blockquote: */
.sidebar-section blockquote {
background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1);
padding: 15px;
margin: 1em 0;
border-radius: 10px;
overflow: hidden;
}
.sidebar-section blockquote > *:first-child {
margin-top: 0;
}
.sidebar-section blockquote > *:last-child {
margin-bottom: 0;
}
/* Site Button: */
.site-button {
display: flex;
flex-direction: column;
align-items: center;
}
.site-button textarea {
font-family: monospace;
font-size: 0.7em;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* NAVIGATION */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
nav {
margin-bottom: 3em;
}
nav .sidebar-title {
margin-bottom: 0.5em;
}
nav ul {
margin: 0 -5px;
padding: 0;
list-style: none;
user-select: none;
}
nav ul li {
margin-bottom: 0;
}
nav > ul li > a,
nav > ul li > strong {
display: inline-block;
}
nav > ul li > a,
nav > ul li > details summary,
nav > ul li > strong {
padding: 5px 10px;
}
nav > ul li > a.active,
nav > ul li > details.active summary {
font-weight: bold;
}
nav ul summary {
cursor: pointer;
}
nav ul ul li > a {
padding-left: 30px;
}
/* NAVIGATION IN HEADER */
header nav {
margin-bottom: 0;
}
header nav ul {
display: flex;
flex-wrap: wrap;
margin: 0;
}
header nav ul li {
position: relative;
}
header nav ul li:first-child > a {
padding-left: 0;
}
header nav ul li:last-child > a {
padding-right: 0;
}
/* Subnavigation (Drop-Down): */
header nav ul ul {
background: var(--content-background-color);
display: none;
position: absolute;
top: 100%;
left: 10px;
padding: 0.5em;
z-index: 1;
border: var(--border);
min-width: 100%;
box-shadow: 0px 1px 5px rgba(0,0,0,0.2);
}
header nav ul li:hover ul,
header nav ul li:focus-within ul {
display: block;
}
header nav ul li strong {
color: var(--link-color);
text-decoration: underline;
font-weight: normal;
}
header nav ul ul li a {
display: block;
padding-left: 0;
padding-right: 0;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* CONTENT */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
main {
line-height: 1.5;
}
main a,
main a:visited {
color: var(--link-color);
}
main a:hover,
main a:focus {
color: var(--link-color-hover);
text-decoration-style: wavy;
}
main p,
main .image,
main .full-width-image,
main .two-columns {
margin: 0.75em 0;
}
main ol,
main ul {
margin: 0.5em 0;
padding-left: 1.5em;
}
main ol li,
main ul li {
margin-bottom: 0.2em;
line-height: 1.3;
}
main ol {
padding-left: 2em;
}
main blockquote {
background: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1);
padding: 15px;
margin: 1em 0;
border-radius: 10px;
}
main pre {
margin: 1em 0 1.5em;
}
main code {
text-transform: none;
}
main center {
margin: 1em 0;
padding: 0 1em;
}
main hr {
border: 0;
border-top: var(--border);
margin: 1.5em 0;
}
/* HEADINGS: */
main h1,
main h2,
main h3,
main h4,
main h5,
main h6 {
font-family: var(--heading-font);
margin-bottom: 0;
line-height: 1.5;
}
main h1:first-child,
main h2:first-child,
main h3:first-child,
main h4:first-child,
main h5:first-child,
main h6:first-child {
margin-top: 0;
}
main h1 {
font-size: 1.5em;
}
main h2 {
font-size: 1.4em;
}
main h3 {
font-size: 1.3em;
}
main h4 {
font-size: 1.2em;
}
main h5 {
font-size: 1.1em;
}
main h6 {
font-size: 1em;
}
/* COLUMNS: */
.two-columns {
display: flex;
}
.two-columns > * {
flex: 1 1 0;
margin: 0;
}
.two-columns > *:first-child {
padding-right: 0.75em;
}
.two-columns > *:last-child {
padding-left: 0.75em;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* CONTENT IMAGES */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
.image {
display: block;
width: auto;
height: auto;
max-width: 100%;
}
.full-width-image {
display: block;
width: 100%;
height: auto;
}
.images {
display: flex;
width: calc(100% + 5px + 5px);
margin-left: -5px;
margin-right: -5px;
}
.images img {
width: 100%;
height: auto;
padding: 5px;
margin: 0;
overflow: hidden;
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* ACCESSIBILITY */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* please do not remove this. */
#skip-to-content-link {
position: fixed;
top: 0;
left: 0;
display: inline-block;
padding: 0.375rem 0.75rem;
line-height: 1;
font-size: 1.25rem;
background-color: var(--content-background-color);
color: var(--text-color);
transform: translateY(-3rem);
transition: transform 0.1s ease-in;
z-index: 99999999999;
}
#skip-to-content-link:focus,
#skip-to-content-link:focus-within {
transform: translateY(0);
}
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* MOBILE RESPONSIVE */
/* -------------------------------------------------------- */
/* CSS Code for devices < 800px */
@media (max-width: 800px) {
body {
font-size: 14px;
}
.layout {
width: 100%;
grid-template: "header" auto "rightSidebar" auto "main" auto "leftSidebar" auto "footer" auto / 1fr;
/* Confused by the grid? Check out my tutorial: https://petrapixel.neocities.org/coding/positioning-tutorial#grid */
}
aside {
border-bottom: 1px solid;
padding: 9px;
font-size: 0.9em;
}
nav {
padding: 0;
}
nav > ul {
padding-top: 0.5em;
}
nav > ul li > a,
nav > ul li > details summary,
nav > ul li > strong {
padding: 0.5em;
}
main {
max-height: none;
padding: 15px;
}
.images {
flex-wrap: wrap;
}
.images img {
width: 100%;
}
#skip-to-content-link {
font-size: 1rem;
}
}
</style>
</html>