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<h1>
<a href="/fic/directory">Back</a>
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<h2>sharing your devotion
</h2>
|| A VERY old one, and not one I particularly like anymore, but a library of all the things I've written is... well... ALL of them. So!
<hr>
<p>A tingle in his chest, a swirl of pins and needles — no blue, when he opens his eyes, but the feeling of it, the knowledge of the Spirits presence without evidence of it. Its calming, almost, as he adjusts to the waking world. The knowledge that the Spirit stirs, that the Spirit is here with him — this is calming now. Things have certainly changed. Sunlight peering through his window, golden rays of light invading his eyesight. Its all light. Its always all light.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning,” Larry says, with a sharp exhale. “I dont want to get out of bed.”</p><p> </p><p>He has to. They need their breakfast, they need his guidance. Hes the only support that they have now. Its nearly ironic, the responsibilities placed upon his shoulders. </p><p> </p><p>He can bear this burden now. It does not rest solely on Larry Trainor. They have each other now, the Spirit a welcomed passenger. Appreciated. Embraced, even. He searches for a word that can accurately describe their relationship — his <em> feelings, </em>the Spirits emotion — and comes up short. It is inextricable and inexplicable. They belong to each other.</p><p> </p><p>“But,” he continues, “you know how it is. Its been two weeks. Sometimes its… tiring.” He smiles, forlorn. “I think we could all use a break. I wish we could get one.”</p><p> </p><p>Its time to get out of bed.</p><p> </p><p>Larry swings his legs onto the floor—</p><p> </p><p>and hits a table. Upon closer look: his night stand, now emptied and directly in front of him, with a record player resting on top of it. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you do this?”</p><p> </p><p>His response comes in the form of a faint chest-glow. Somehow he knows theres a bit of sarcasm to it — he cannot place it, assumes that their communication must be getting better. Its almost like -- <em> who else would it be? </em></p><p> </p><p>So he can read the Spirits mind now, and the Spirit is a sarcastic bastard. Hes not surprised. He is - open to this harmony, accepts the relief. There is something comforting about the Negative Spirit now that they understand one another. Hes never alone. Larry Trainor has spent his entire life trying to be alone without being alone, and the Spirit represents the end and furthering of his loneliness.</p><p> </p><p>It is complex.</p><p> </p><p>He smiles to himself, bites his cheek when he realizes the expression. He places the needle on the record—</p><p> </p><p>
<em> I wasnt jealous before we met, now every woman I see is a potential threat… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Theres some irony in that.</p><p> </p><p>“Never thought you were the Swedish disco type,” Larry says. “Guess you learn something new every day.”</p><p> </p><p>He moves the table to his side, stands up. He doesnt even own this record — this thought occurs to him when its too late. He doesnt want to know where or how the Spirit acquired an ABBA vinyl — after sixty years of this shit, hes learned not to question them.</p><p> </p><p>It is, admittedly, a little touching. </p><p> </p><p>Another glow in his chest, a slightly paler hue. Odd.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what is this? Whats the message here?”</p><p> </p><p>Now the chorus kicks in—</p><p> </p><p><em> dont go wasting your emotion, dont go sharing your devotion, lay all your </em> <b> <em>love </em> </b> <em> on me… </em></p><p> </p><p>He cant help himself. His body is no longer stiff or tired; his feet and fingers tap to the beat, awakened. </p><p> </p><p>Oh. He gets the message. He has to say this to their… face. </p><p> </p><p>“Release,” Larry breathes. The room fills with the Spirits light, and it pulses in front of him, their eyes burning into his. They are hovering patiently. Waiting. He doesnt understand how he is capable of feeling their anxiety, but it is overflowing now. Unbearable.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you—-”</p><p> </p><p>Hes interrupted by the Spirits hand. They extend their hand towards Larry -- <em> take it. </em> They want him to take their hand, to trust. Oh. He <em> trusts. </em></p><p> </p><p>He gives in.</p><p> </p><p>Lightning-fast, the Negative Spirit places itself on the floor of Larrys bedroom, and they grab him — twirl him — <em> dip </em> him, a rhythmic dance. <em> Lay all your love on me. </em>How the hell do they know how to dance?</p><p> </p><p>Larry forgets his question, when they place a hand against his left side, entangling his right hand with theirs. Its historical, now — this is more important. He knows the answer.</p><p> </p><p>Another realization — <em> this is his break, </em>this is his life now. This is the rest that he desired, the distraction from reality. Its fleeting, but its effect will have a lasting permanence on the mind of Larry Trainor.</p><p> </p><p>The Spirit knows him too well.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” he whispers, as the music continues to burst. “By the way, do I even want to know where you got this?”</p><p> </p><p>The Spirit shakes their head. They are always going to be cryptic. </p><p> </p><p>Its almost endearing.</p><p><br />
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