107 lines
16 KiB
HTML
107 lines
16 KiB
HTML
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<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd">
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<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en">
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8" />
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<meta http-equiv="x-ua-compatible" content="ie=edge" />
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<title>ten feet down, the light broke through (and i could never get close enough to you) - ToothpasteCheesecake - Babylon 5 & Related Fandoms, Babylon 5 (TV 1993)</title>
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<style type="text/css">
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p.message { text-align: center; }
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.meta .endnote-link { font-size: .8em; }
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/* List child related works under the labeling dt */
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#afterword .meta dd { margin: 1em 0 0 1em; }
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#chapters { font-family: "Nimbus Roman No9 L", "Times New Roman", serif; padding: 1em; }
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.userstuff { font-family: "Nimbus Roman No9 L", "Times New Roman", serif; padding: 1em; }
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/* Invisible headings to help Calibre make a Table of Contents */
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</head>
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<body>
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<div id="preface">
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<h2 class="toc-heading">Preface</h2>
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<p class="message">
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<b>ten feet down, the light broke through (and i could never get close enough to you)</b><br/>
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Posted originally on the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/">Archive of Our Own</a> at <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/48148657">http://archiveofourown.org/works/48148657</a>.
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</p>
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<div class="meta">
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<dl class="tags">
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<dt>Rating:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Teen%20And%20Up%20Audiences">Teen And Up Audiences</a></dd>
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<dt>Archive Warning:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/No%20Archive%20Warnings%20Apply">No Archive Warnings Apply</a></dd>
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<dt>Category:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/F*s*M">F/M</a></dd>
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<dt>Fandoms:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Babylon%205%20*a*%20Related%20Fandoms">Babylon 5 & Related Fandoms</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Babylon%205%20(TV%201993)">Babylon 5 (TV 1993)</a></dd>
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<dt>Relationship:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Mr*d*%20Morden*s*Anna%20Sheridan">Mr. Morden/Anna Sheridan</a></dd>
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<dt>Characters:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Anna%20Sheridan%20(Babylon%205)">Anna Sheridan (Babylon 5)</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Mr*d*%20Morden%20(Babylon%205)">Mr. Morden (Babylon 5)</a></dd>
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<dt>Additional Tags:</dt>
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<dd><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Pre-Canon">Pre-Canon</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Emotional%20Infidelity">Emotional Infidelity</a>, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/tags/POV%20Alternating">POV Alternating</a></dd>
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<dt>Language:</dt>
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<dd>English</dd>
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<dt>Stats:</dt>
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<dd>
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Published: 2023-07-16
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Words: 1,668
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Chapters: 1/1
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</dd>
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</dl>
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<h1>ten feet down, the light broke through (and i could never get close enough to you)</h1>
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<div class="byline">by <a rel="author" href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/ToothpasteCheesecake/pseuds/ToothpasteCheesecake">ToothpasteCheesecake</a></div>
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<p>Summary</p>
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<blockquote class="userstuff"><p>He really wants to like Dr. Sheridan.</p></blockquote>
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<p>Notes</p>
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<blockquote class="userstuff"><p>none of this will make sense unless you've read the shadow within sorry. i've been hyperfixated on that book for like, half a year now LOL</p><p>i don't really "ship" anna and morden, i don't think the word applies. (edit a year later: yes it fuckin does and i'm now obsessed with them) but in the book, they absolutely had Some Weird Stuff going on between them, and it's so fascinating to me lmao. they had a thing, and it was very cringefail. i think about it a lot</p><p>i wrote all of this with covid so i dont know if it makes sense at all<3</p></blockquote>
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<div class="endnote-link">
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See the end of the work for more <a href="#endnotes">notes</a>
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</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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<div id="chapters" class="userstuff">
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<h2 class="toc-heading">ten feet down, the light broke through (and i could never get close enough to you)</h2>
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<div class="userstuff">
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<p>He <em> really </em> wants to like Dr. Sheridan. She’s nice, he supposes, and clearly has an intimate understanding of archeology, which is rather refreshing. He wants to like her. He truly, <em> truly </em>does want to like her.</p><p> </p><p>He tries out liking her as if trying out a new, exotic dish. He studies her in the darkness when she walks into his quarters, and then he studies her in the light. He tries on the taste of Dr. Sheridan, and discovers that she isn’t for him; they live in different worlds, they walk different paths. Too different for his liking.</p><p> </p><p>And she’s married.</p><p> </p><p>Her husband — her <em> husband — </em> is Earthforce as well, and he can tell by the way she intonates her words when asking him about his role there that she doesn’t care for it much. He’s very adept at reading other people; this is his greatest skill, his finest accomplishment, the way he’s tuned the instrument of himself entirely away from himself. The entire <em> point </em>of his existence now is to be clandestine, to be rough; it was this way before, in the medieval ages, when his family was still alive, but he had additional purposes back then.</p><p> </p><p>He was a husband, he was a father. It was almost normal, almost picturesque, but never quite reaching the holy, nuclear status. Regret hits him with the force of a tsunami: he’d spend too long at work, too much time away. Sarah’s excitement when he came home was rooted in missing him, in mourning his absence. Almost ironic.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn’t matter. Now he is this: a weapon, once feared, now discarded and left to gather dust between the walls of Station Prime. He wielded himself carelessly, without intention, overtaken by his own grief, towards the ISN reporters.</p><p> </p><p>He should’ve never been forced into that spotlight in the first place—it was <em> their </em>fault. They deserved it; they would’ve deserved worse if he hadn’t been stopped.</p><p> </p><p>So, no. He doesn’t like Dr. Sheridan. He thinks she has ulterior motives by approaching him here, in <em> his </em>territory, but another aspect of him knows that this shouldn’t factor in; everyone here has ulterior motives.</p><p> </p><p>He agrees to go out to dinner with her anyway.</p><p> </p><hr /><p> </p><p>She does like Dr. Morden. </p><p> </p><p>She tries not to pity him. They’re both adults, of course, they both know how to conduct themselves, and he is clearly experienced in his work. Let’s rephrase: she feels his ache. She cannot even imagine it—-the survivor’s guilt, the life he had being unraveled into void within moments, the ultimate change. The ghosts of the taken-too-soon haunting him at all times, always in the backdrop, always breathing without breathing. </p><p> </p><p>It has to be torturous. She prays that she never understands this pain.</p><p> </p><p>But everyone, she thinks, can be healed, even if it is only a minimal healing. The callus can be calmed, can be tamed into submission, can be unformed and reformed into something softer.</p><p> </p><p>….</p><p> </p><p>His hands, though. That’s the unsettling part: they’re too smooth. Her hands are rough from the work she’s done; his competence at archeology is blatant, but his hands aren’t callused, his hands don’t give off the same impression. It feels like he, too, is ghosting—through archeology, passing through each object without impact.</p><p> </p><p>Their hands brush against one another as they dine. Most of the time, he avoids eye contact, but they’re not sitting in silence; the restaurant around them is cacophonous with noise, and Dr. Morden is rattling on and on about the equipment they’ve been given again. The Icarus mission is certainly <em> unprecedented, </em>and they both know it.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever is on this planet, the findings will be greatly desired. When they make it back, she won’t know what to expect.</p><p> </p><p>She puts her fork down. “Sorry for changing the subject, but why do you think Ms. Donne d
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</p>
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</div>
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</div>
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<div id="afterword">
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<h2 class="toc-heading">Afterword</h2>
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<div class="meta">
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<div id="endnotes">
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<p>End Notes</p>
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<blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this ends so abruptly i got tired but wanted to publish what i had written. i'll write a chapter about the cave and egg scenes later.</p></blockquote>
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</div>
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</div>
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<p class="message">Please <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/48148657/comments/new">drop by the Archive and comment</a> to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!</p>
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</div>
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</body>
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</html>
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