72 lines
4.5 KiB
Text
72 lines
4.5 KiB
Text
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---
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layout: agneslove.njk
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title: Now
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description: now page
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eleventyNavigation:
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key: slash
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title: Now
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---
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<script>
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function myFunction() {
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let element = document.body;
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element.classList.toggle("theme");
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}
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</script>
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<div class="main-now">
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<div id="currently">
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Currently...
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<br>
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<b><i>watching</i></b>: paradise (tv), star trek voyager<hr>
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<b><i>playing</i></b>: tomodachi life, palia, 1000xresist<hr>
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<a href="https://www.last.fm/user/keegbovo"><img src="https://lastfm-recently-played.vercel.app/api?user=keegbovo" height="auto" width="250px"/></a></div>
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<div class="noww"><h3>What am I doing now!?!?</h3>
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<i>inspired by <a href="https://nownownow.com/about">nownownow.com</a></i>
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<hr style="width:65px;border:8px dashed hotpink;">
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Life... <br><br>
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Currently finally moving on from 20 years of treatment resistant depression, which is nice, and finally getting treatment for my lifelong PMDD, which will hopefully take care of the <i>rest</i> of my suffering. I'm writing this on June 20, 2026, which means I'm turning 25 in exactly a week. That's pretty wild, considering I never planned to make it past the age of eighteen.<br><br>
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I'm at peace with my life currently. I'm frightened by the current state of the world, but I have hope. I love my friends and family and partner and pets. I finally feel like I have some sort of tangible, beautiful future? AGAIN: crazy, because I've never known this kind of contentment and hope. I'm squeezing all the juice I can out of every second of my life; I'm not going to let it go to waste.
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<br><br>
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Something a lot of people don't talk about is the post-suicidal phase of life. You know, what happens when you've been suicidal since the single digits and it's all you know how to be, and now you have to learn what it's like to want to be around. It might not sound like it, but it's a real adjustment! For so long I have felt like my life is ephemeral, but it isn't. I can make something of it. I just need to figure out how.
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<br><br>
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My life is relatively limited by my health issues, but I want to do as much as I possibly can, both inside and outside of the home. I'm about to start college this August, where I'll be a religious studies major with the goal of volunteering in medical chaplaincy. The one field I can do that I do not think will be replaced by AI any time soon...<br><br>
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I'm excited for what comes next.
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<hr style="width:65px;border:8px dashed hotpink;">
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Projects... <br><br>
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In October 2025, I launched <a href="https://sunset.femslash.club">Sunset Archive</a>, a fanfiction archive using <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/">AO3</a>'s code dedicated to F/F, F/NB and NB/NB sapphic fanworks. It was rocky at the start, but it has ended up being incredibly rewarding. Now, as I move forward with my mental health and continue to improve, I'm thinking of launching an entire "femslash web"; a cluster of social services and tools made by and for femslash fans, where we come first, and where femslash is freely accessible to those who are looking as opposed to being a needle in a haystack.
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I'm very passionate about fandom and sapphic works. I don't know if this will come to fruition, but it is my dream...
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<br><br>
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I'm currently working on a cluster of short stories and am brainstorming a novel, and I recently got a v-gen artist account and plan to open writing commissions soon.
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As I write this, it is late June, so <a href="https://artfight.net/~bearcat" title="my profile">ArtFight</a> will be starting soon! This year I'm getting into making jewelry so I can do craft attacks, and just because I want to make jewelry in general, since so many people in my family work with it.
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<br><br> In fact, here's a practice necklace I made:<br>
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<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/1cde0ff69c3f2f19f584846230bb15b8/0be8ddd22aa1c887-fd/s540x810/fc6aabf1410e336436fcef13d6be3dcb1e05a6f2.jpg" width="450px" alt="A necklace composed of red heart shaped gems. It has a blue UFO pendant." title="A necklace composed of red heart shaped gems. It has a blue UFO pendant.">
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<br><br>I'm pretty proud of it :-)
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<hr style="width:65px;border:8px dashed hotpink;">
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Goals...
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<br><br>
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<li>To successfully use my DBT skills when necessary to avoid having a breakdown</li>
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<li>To finish a novel by June 2027</li>
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<li>To write at least 150k by the end of the year</li>
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<li>To get a short story professionally published</li>
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<li>To continue to improve with my digital art and my crafts</li>
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<li>To learn music theory</li>
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<li>To finish my freshman year of college with at least a 3.8 GPA.</li>
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</div>
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</div>
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